So apparantly, my blog account was hacked and someone posted two blog posts on my behalf, completely without my knowledge. I don’t know how many people might have seen the posts, but if you were one of them, I’m sorry I didn’t realize until now. One post was titled “I didn’t think I was going to earn this much” and was clearly an ad for a company. I know one person saw and he or she left a comment on one of the posts. If that person is reading this: THANK YOU! I hadn’t seen the posts myself, so I really appreciate the fact that you notified me about what had happened.
I have changed some details to my account, so hopefully this won’t happen again.
Besides this I have a little update. I’ve just moved in with my boyfriend and have spent a lot of time and effort in the past two weeks trying to get ready for the move, so my mind has been preoccupied with that. In the coming weeks I will be much more active on the blog.
Thanks for reading! ♥
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This has been a dream of mine for so long, simply because a car would make so many things easier. And especially now that I’m going to be living in a tiny town with only 200 people and no shops whatsoever, a car is really necessary!
For people who live outside of Denmark (or Scandinavia), getting a car at this age might seem a little weird. I bet, if you are American for instance, it’s normal to get your own car at age 16 when you get your driver’s license. The thing is though, here it is quite expensive to get a car. And not just the car alone, but with the car comes road tax and other expenses. And you need to have a buffer in case something happens to the car, because taking your car to a mechanic is also very (!) expensive.
Despite being schizophrenic, I have been very fortunate in my life. I live in a country where it is possible to get help when you can’t work. Of course there are exceptions, as with everything. And I am grateful every day for the help I have received over the years, and I don’t really need much. But a car has always been a big dream. And it just wasn’t possible for me to get that.
Until now. My boyfriend and I bought a car together so we’d be able to get around, go shopping for food and in general just have the benefit of being able to go anywhere, when we want. And it’s such a relief. Especially now that I move a couple of hours away from my family.
So what did we get? I have driven a lot of Toyotas in my life. Mainly the ones my mom has had. And I really think they are reliable cars. So we got a Toyota Aygo. A white Xpress Toyota Aygo. And I can’t wait to get it! It should be less than two weeks now. Normally, I’m really, really impatient. Everyone who knows me, knows how extreme it can be. But like I told my boyfriend, this is something I’m truly so incredibly thankful for, that I’m not going to be impossible and impatient about it. I’m going to be an adult (had to happen some time) and just wait without bitching about something so stupid as a two week waiting period.
I’m finally going to be a car owner! Wow, yay and hell yeah!
Well, I swear that I’m not actually addicted to this thing, although it doesn’t look that way from the outside. See, I’ve moved a lot of times in my life. 25 times to be exact. Sometimes out of necessity, other times out of boredom. Which sounds really bad, but at the same time, it’s the cold, hard truth.
In 2010 I moved into a place with my, now, ex-husband where I would end up being for 7 whole years. Which (up til this point) has been the record for me in my adult life. Then I got divorced, moved out and into a great apartment that I love and where I’ve been living the past six months. But… now it’s time again.
This time it is a bit unexpected as well as possibly a tiny bit rash. But the heart wants what it wants. If you read my last post, you’d know that I haven’t been with my boyfriend for too long. But we’ve decided to move in together. More specifically, I’m moving into his place. And I’m very excited about it!
We could have waited. Since it hasn’t been very long. But we just didn’t want to. This time the move has nothing to do with boredom and everything to do with, to put it simply, the fact that it just feels right.
So, raise your glass of milk or whatever you have sitting next to you (and if nothing’s there, go get something. It’s okay, I’ll wait)… and let’s toast to a new beginning! I for one am ready for it!
So it’s 2018. Can we just take a moment to take in the absurdity of that fact? How on earth did we end up in 2018?
I feel like I say this all the time, but I seriously can’t keep up.
December (my favorite month of the year) came and went. I went into my usual Christmas mode and soaked everything up to the best of my abilities. Because I knew that if would be over before I knew it.
I turned 35 on December 20th and spent it with my family. Christmas was also spent with family. The 24th with my mother, my sister and my dog. The 25th with my dad, his girlfriend, my sister, her boyfriend and their two dogs.
The next day my boyfriend and I made it official, which only made Christmas that much more special to me.
New Year’s Eve was ‘celebrated’ as per usual. I ignored all traditions and festivities (which I guess makes it a traditional itself), and stayed at home alone with the dog. He hates the fireworks, and I hate New Years Eve, so it was the perfect way for me to ensure that he made it through the night.
And then the calendar said 2018, and we’ve come full circle.
Did I get out of 2017 feeling like I did everything I wanted to? I can’t really say. Simply because I never had new years resolutions before. I do remember wanting to finish the novel I started writing in 2017. But it was a hope and not a resolution per se.
But that’s going to change now. Because I want to have aspirations for this new year. I want to be able to look back on this post and see if I did the things I wanted to. If all the goals are things I still agree with at the end of the year. What’s so bad about having goals anyway?
So here they are. In no particular order:
I want to lose the rest of the weight I gained in my marriage (if you’re new here, I got divorced in 2017). I’ve lost 60%, which means I need to lose 40%. I want to continue to go to the gym at least three times a week, to keep walking for at least 2 hours a day with the dog and continue swimming once a week. This goal is not at all hard to accomplish if I just stick to it.
The next one is not a resolution, it’s a promise to myself: this year you WILL finish the novel you’re writing. You’re already 1/3 in, so you can do this!
I want to find a new place to live, so my boyfriend and I can live together. It’s quick, yes. But we live pretty far away from each other and it’s getting increasingly hard to be away from each other, so in maybe six months time we’ll find a place together.
I want to get my pictures out into the world. There are a lot of other photographers out there, so competition is fierce. But I’m going to try my hardest anyway!
Which brings me to my next one: I want to be more active and take more pictures in 2018. Find some cool places and explore. Just myself or with my boyfriend who also loves photography. I want to find models to shoot (with the camera. You need to clarify something like that these days) and have some fun shoots.
I want to create more. Doesn’t matter if it’s in terms of photography, sculpting with clay or writing.
This last one is also more of a promise. I want to be more active on my blog. I love doing it, so I have to make the time if I want to stick with it. Something that should be doable.
And that’s pretty much it. I don’t want too many resolutions, because it could create a problem in terms of sticking with things.
Today is just a normal day. A Thursday, the 7th day of the month, really nothing too special. At the same time it’s also “one of those days”. We all have them. We all want to go to bed and sleep until it’s finally not this day anymore. Why? Because it has some sort of power? Some significance other than being a mediocre day? We all experience emotional pain in some sort of capacity, and we as humans don’t like feeling pain like that, which is why we want it to go away. We either want to feel happy emotions or no emotions at all.
And that’s where I am today. I’m feeling some of those ‘bad’ emotions that I want to discard so badly and never think about again. But they’re there. They’re in my body, in my head and in my heart.
I want to drink myself senseless, just to alleviate some of the pain. Unfortunately for me, I don’t drink alcohol. I want to snort cocaine up my nose and let the powder spread through my head and body. But, alas, I don’t do drugs.
I want to do a plethora of really unwise and unsafe things that I know I’m going to regret. So which pain is worse? The one I’m feeling right now, or the one that would leave me hungover or plagued with guilt the day after?
I’m going to choose to get through this day without substance abuse and without any harmful behavior. Because like it or not, in the end the pain is there. It’s not going away just because you wish it would. So by filling your nose with the snow white powder or your liver with unhealthy liquids, you’re only postponing the inevitable. And isn’t it better to feel things right now, get them out of your system, instead of pushing them away, momentarily, only to have them return shortly after?
So yes, I’m hurting today. I have unresolved feelings permeating my being and leaving me breathless. But I have to feel these emotions as I’m writing this, if I want to be able to move past them, healthily. The right way. Feel like joining me, if you’re also having ‘one of those days’?