“I have nothing to say”.

I’m sitting here at my desk, staring at the screen. I’m trying to come up with a subject for today’s blog post, but frankly, I have nothing to say. Which is probably the worst thing to say when you’re writing a blog. Yeah, that’ll make people really enjoy your content and look forward to the next post. But at the same time, it’s the truth.

I have always been a quiet person. Someone who, at first glance, can seem a little preoccupied. Shy. Awkward. And there’s no getting around that. I am all of those things. I have always been someone who thought before speaking. Who needed to feel some sort of bond with someone, however minuscule or profound, to be able to open up. But having said that, even if I did have a strong bond with someone, I didn’t always know what to say. I didn’t always have something to say. And I have always hated that about myself. I have always seen it as my biggest flaw. Something I was ashamed of and insecure about. I always worried that people would see my quiet nature as me being boring, uninteresting or one-dimensional. I remember talking to a friend about it in high school. Her response was: “just say anything. Anything at all. It’s better than saying nothing”. And although I understood her point, I disagreed. And I still do to this day. Probably because I’ve always hated small talk. Those conversations you have that fill a void but have absolutely no meaning, have always felt so annoying and redundant to me. Whenever I was having a conversation like that, I would always ask the same question in my head over and over again. “What’s the point?” And although it would make sense for me to say any stupid thing I could cook up in my mind to avoid my biggest enemy (awkward silence), I hate pointless conversations more.

So where does that leave me? Well, for the first time in my life, I’m actually starting to be okay with the fact that that’s just who I am. I am a quiet person. Not all day, every day. But probably more than most people. I realized, over the past couple of months of being with my boyfriend, that if it’s okay for some people to be super chatty and always talk and talk, then it’s okay for me to be quiet too. In order for someone to talk, someone has to listen. My boyfriend is, or can be, very quiet too. He is the first person I’ve been in a relationship with who is similar to me in that way. And it completely takes the pressure off me. He even said those words to me at one point. “Sometimes, I just have nothing to say”. And it hit me like a ton of bricks, because those were the exact words I had always been petrified of. But at the same time, those were also the words that described how I felt, and how I had been feeling for so many years. And seeing him being so utterly unapologetic about it, made me feel an instant burst of acceptance towards myself. It made me feel free. Of course, something like this doesn’t just go away from one day to the next. From one freeing conversation to the next. But it has started a steady landslide within me that has already made a world of difference to me. I am thankful, in many regards, to have found someone like him. It is clear to me that we were meant to find each other, as we have both learned a lot from this relationship. For that I can only be grateful.

So maybe this post had a little something to say after all? Maybe there was a little something in the midst of all the nothing?

Thank you for listening.

See also: You’d think I was addicted

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SilverLoves is open for business again!

If you’ve read my blog for a while (in-between my breaks when life happens) you know that I’ve been making and selling jewellery for a while, although not consistently. In the beginning there was very little thought to what I was making and how I presented the jewellery on Etsy (the only place I put items for sale). Eventually I stopped making jewellery. I wasn’t happy with what I made, and I made very few sales. So I grew tired of the whole process. Then life happened, and I forgot all about it, until I suddenly started getting interested again. I don’t remember what changed, but for some reason I started researching things I wanted to make. How to make it, which materials to use etc. I realised that by making things randomly without any coherence was not exactly helping me. Even though my “business” was a one-person operation, a side business, it made my shop on Etsy seem messy and all over the place. So I started honing in on what type of women’s jewellery I wanted to make. I stopped making gold pieces to focus solely on making silver products, because I’ve always been a silver kind of girl. I stopped making fimo clay earrings, faux leather bracelets and cameo necklaces and decided instead to focus on stone pieces. And for once, I actually felt like I was doing something that could be beautiful.

Then (and I apologize for using this expression so frequently, but it’s just so apt) “life happened” and I had to stop making jewellery. Well, technically I could still make it, but I couldn’t put it up for sale. I received a housing benefit that is very common in Denmark, and while I was grateful for the help, simultaneously it meant I couldn’t sell jewellery. Because I would have to declare all sales at the end of the month and pay back some of the housing benefit to match the earnings, which would have been a hassle. So I decided to scrap the idea of selling jewellery online. But then I moved in with my boyfriend and a big bonus, apart from the obvious big ones like living with the man I love, was the fact that I no longer received a housing benefit each month. I was therefore finally able to start my very tiny and very humble business up again.

This time I’ve honed in even more on what I want to make. Instead of having a long list of types of stones to work with, I decided to stick to a more narrow choice of stones. And instead of having a variety of necklaces with no link to any other category of jewellery, I made a selection of necklaces with matching earrings. I also decided to keep some of the classics that previously sold reasonably well like the 18x25mm cabochon rings.

So, what’s happening this time around? I am currently working on a Danish website with a webshop, which should be up fairly soon. While this website is Danish, due to the limited payment options I was able to add, I have also put up all the jewellery on my Etsy page, from where anyone in the world can buy the products. The link is right here: SilverLoves Etsy shop.

New products will be coming the coming weeks, so if you’re interested to see more, please go favorite my shop on Etsy. That way you’ll be notified automatically whenever new items are listed.

But, for now, here are some of the new pieces, fresh out of the oven… or, should I say, the jewellery box.

This first one is a handmade link necklace with silver plated wire and chrysocolla beads. This one takes quite a while to make, but I love the simplicity and classic look of it. This particular necklace comes in a few other types of stones as well, all of which you can find on Etsy. But if you want to know more about this chrysocolla necklace, click the image and it will take you directly to the listing.

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This bar necklace has silver plated beads and the beautiful stone lapis lazuli with the characteristic blue colour.  This necklace hugs your neck, as it has a short chain, almost similar to a choker necklace. Click the image for more.

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These cute earrings have red mashan jade beads and small silver beads and make this the perfect pair for a night out on the town. Of course, these earrings also come in different types of stone, such as black agate, white howlite and more. Click the image to see more.

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These link earrings match the chrysocolla necklace above, only this pair has beautiful amethyst beads and a small circle pendant. These earrings come in a variety of stones, just like the necklace.

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Okay, before this turns into the longest post in the history of blogging, let me show you this last necklace. This one has a rose quartz bead and silver circle pendant and is great for both formal and casual occasions.

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Let me know what you think. If you are interested, there are plenty more new and original items in the shop. And hey, if you check them out, please leave me a ‘favorite’ on the listings that you like. It really helps me out.

Thanks for reading!

See also: I was hacked!

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I was hacked

hacked

So apparantly, my blog account was hacked and someone posted two blog posts on my behalf, completely without my knowledge. I don’t know how many people might have seen the posts, but if you were one of them, I’m sorry I didn’t realize until now. One post was titled “I didn’t think I was going to earn this much” and was clearly an ad for a company. I know one person saw and he or she left a comment on one of the posts. If that person is reading this: THANK YOU! I hadn’t seen the posts myself, so I really appreciate the fact that you notified me about what had happened.

I have changed some details to my account, so hopefully this won’t happen again.

Besides this I have a little update. I’ve just moved in with my boyfriend and have spent a lot of time and effort in the past two weeks trying to get ready for the move, so my mind has been preoccupied with that. In the coming weeks I will be much more active on the blog.

Thanks for reading! ♥

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Getting a car!

I am, at age 35, getting my very first car!

This has been a dream of mine for so long, simply because a car would make so many things easier. And especially now that I’m going to be living in a tiny town with only 200 people and no shops whatsoever, a car is really necessary!

For people who live outside of Denmark (or Scandinavia), getting a car at this age might seem a little weird. I bet, if you are American for instance, it’s normal to get your own car at age 16 when you get your driver’s license. The thing is though, here it is quite expensive to get a car. And not just the car alone, but with the car comes road tax and other expenses. And you need to have a buffer in case something happens to the car, because taking your car to a mechanic is also very (!) expensive.

Despite being schizophrenic, I have been very fortunate in my life. I live in a country where it is possible to get help when you can’t work. Of course there are exceptions, as with everything. And I am grateful every day for the help I have received over the years, and I don’t really need much. But a car has always been a big dream. And it just wasn’t possible for me to get that.

Until now. My boyfriend and I bought a car together so we’d be able to get around, go shopping for food and in general just have the benefit of being able to go anywhere, when we want. And it’s such a relief. Especially now that I move a couple of hours away from my family.

So what did we get? I have driven a lot of Toyotas in my life. Mainly the ones my mom has had. And I really think they are reliable cars. So we got a Toyota Aygo. A white Xpress Toyota Aygo. And I can’t wait to get it! It should be less than two weeks now. Normally, I’m really, really impatient. Everyone who knows me, knows how extreme it can be. But like I told my boyfriend, this is something I’m truly so incredibly thankful for, that I’m not going to be impossible and impatient about it. I’m going to be an adult (had to happen some time) and just wait without bitching about something so stupid as a two week waiting period.

I’m finally going to be a car owner! Wow, yay and hell yeah!

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See also: You’d think I was addicted

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You’d think I was addicted

moving

Well, I swear that I’m not actually addicted to this thing, although it doesn’t look that way from the outside. See, I’ve moved a lot of times in my life. 25 times to be exact. Sometimes out of necessity, other times out of boredom. Which sounds really bad, but at the same time, it’s the cold, hard truth.

In 2010 I moved into a place with my, now, ex-husband where I would end up being for 7 whole years. Which (up til this point) has been the record for me in my adult life. Then I got divorced, moved out and into a great apartment that I love and where I’ve been living the past six months. But… now it’s time again.

This time it is a bit unexpected as well as possibly a tiny bit rash. But the heart wants what it wants. If you read my last post, you’d know that I haven’t been with my boyfriend for too long. But we’ve decided to move in together. More specifically, I’m moving into his place. And I’m very excited about it!

We could have waited. Since it hasn’t been very long. But we just didn’t want to. This time the move has nothing to do with boredom and everything to do with, to put it simply, the fact that it just feels right.

So, raise your glass of milk or whatever you have sitting next to you (and if nothing’s there, go get something. It’s okay, I’ll wait)… and let’s toast to a new beginning! I for one am ready for it!

See also: New Year’s resolutions

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